Lost & Found

(While writing this post I listened to "Wonder of the World" by Rush of Fools

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P93a713V820)

"Dude, God keeps track of your wallet. There is probably one less angel fighting because he's assigned to keep track of the things you lose." I think this is probably true. I think God really does have a special angel assigned to me that keeps track of my belongings. I mean, come on, I have plenty of experiences to prove it. Not everything gets returned to me, but if it's my wallet, my phone, my coat, or my keys -- the important stuff -- then yeah, it's always returned to me. Basically every single time I leave Bloomington, you can assume that I am going to lose one, or any combination of those items. The opening statement was said by my friend Josiah, after he witnessed the loss and return of my wallet three times while I was in California.
When I was in Chicago last summer I lost it twice.
This Spring Break I was in Kansas City, Missouri for the ASTA conference where I lost my coat -- containing my keys and my wallet -- just before heading back to Bloomington. I was about to leave with the other ladies I carpooled with, when I realized I was cold and therefore wanted my coat, but by that time it was too late, and they were pressed for time. So, I swallowed my pride, sent up a prayer, and embraced the peace of God because I knew it was going to be returned to me eventually, just like so many times before. And it was.
This last time, it was my phone. And when it was returned to me, I was like, 'ok that's it. I have to write about this because the grace I receive in this way is ridiculous.'...plus it makes for good stories...plus I have learned so much from these reoccuring experiences, that processing it all is a must.
So I lost my phone about two days ago. I suspected that I dropped it outside somewhere between the music school library and my apartment. When I retraced my steps I had no luck, and the next two nights it's rained like crazy, so I pretty much gave it up for good -- in my mind, but not in my spirit. Last night I fell asleep while working on a group project that we were to have finished by today, so I skipped conducting class to work on it. I told my dear friend Kornilios that I wasn't going to be in class, but he wanted to convince me to go, so he called me. The thing was, Kornilios was standing right next to my phone when he called. Yeah. It was in the library lost and found. When it rang, one of the desk workers picked it up and looked at it. Somehow Kornilios made the connection. (I'm not real clear on that part!) Coincidence? No way.
Losing things is actually a big part of my life. It's a part of my life that causes me to deal with a lot of shame, embarrassment, and frustration. It's caused me to doubt myself, and it's tied in with lack of confidence in myself...But now I'm starting to like it. Now I'm starting to see it as beautiful. Should I try to change? Lord knows how hard I've worked at establishing preventative measures, and I think I can even say that I've made some progress -- like always putting things in the same place, and making a habit of looking behind me whenever I leave a place -- but it's so deep. It's so tightly knit into the way I process things and view the world, and I wonder if I'll ever be able to change, really. So for now, I will just be thankful that my Daddy cares.
II Corinthians 12:9-10

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (NIV).

The Message Version:
"My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."